spam spam spam


Man:You sit here, dear.
Wife:All right.
Man:(to Waitress) Morning!
Waitress:Morning!
Man:Well, what've you got?
Waitress:Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings:(starting to chant) Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress:...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings:(singing) Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress:...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife:Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress:Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife:I don't want any spam!
Man:Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife:That's got spam in it!
Man:Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings:Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife:Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress:Urgghh!
Wife:What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings:Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:Shut up!
Vikings:Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife:(shrieks) I don't like spam!
Man:Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings:(singing) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man:Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress:You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings:
spam spam spam spam. lovely spam! wonderful spam! spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. lovely spam! lovely spam! lovely spam! lovely spam! lovely spam! spam spam spam spam!